


You Light The Way

by itsnotbritneybutstillabitch



Series: You light the way [1]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, F/F, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotbritneybutstillabitch/pseuds/itsnotbritneybutstillabitch
Summary: When you've lived in the dark your whole life, sometimes is scary to start following the light.Another fic about what happened after the confession in the tent.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey anyone reading this! I'll say it again, I'm not a writer (I wish). English is not my first language, not even the second, so I tried my best. I'll try to improve tho!  
> Anyway, I've had some personal problems and writing them out helped me.  
> I'll have about six chapters in mind, so I'll try to update as soon as I finish my finals.  
> So if you read it, let me know what you think!  
> I rated M for language and some scenes (I'll let you know which ones).

“When I look back at this, I won’t remember performing and competing.”

Beca wasn’t that kind of person who’d open up herself, but after all, it felt like the unofficial goodbye for them, so she tried to choose the words from the bottom of her heart.

“I’m gonna remember you weirdos. Makes me really sad to think it won’t be like this again.” Playing nervously with her fingers. Beca couldn’t look up to their friends. Couldn’t show her tearful eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you guys.” Said with a little crack in her voice, not even noticed for any of the girls, except for one, who was looking at her across the fire with those shining eyes that made her lost herself.

She could hear some other Bellas agreeing with her. How would she live without her new family in a few months? The Bellas changed her, made her a better person and they taught her to let herself be loved.

“I got my ticket for the long way round…” She could feel her favorite blue eyes on her. A reserved look from her best friend, the only person who knew her better than herself.

“Two bottle whiskey for the way.” Beca was trying to handle the tears in her eyes. When her eyes connected again with Chloe’s. Their special connection felt stronger than ever, like something powerful was growing between them.

  


“And I sure would like some sweet company  
And I'm leaving tomorrow  
What d'you say?

When I'm gone

When I'm gone  
When I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone  
You're gonna miss me by my hair  
(Miss me by my everywhere)  
You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh  
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.”

* * *

It was getting late and the girls progressively left to the tent until Beca and Chloe were the only ones left around the campfire.

Beca moved next to her friend and placed the blanket around them and sitting close enough to get warm. The night was getting colder and they just enjoyed each other company in silence.

Beca was one of those people who didn’t like being around people, but when she was, it made her uncomfortable being with someone in silence. She needed music or something as background, or the other people talking.

She couldn’t relax around other people.

That was until Chloe came to her life. She could read her perfectly in almost every angle.

“Do you think there are bears in this place? Somewhere?” Asked Chloe looking around the camp.

“I don’t know, you tell me. You’re the animal expert.” Said Beca confused trying not to laugh at her friend.

“Yeah, I know.” Smiled “but orientation is not my best and I have no idea where we are at.”

“Maybe? I don’t know. Why?”

“I’d be so cool to see one. I’d feel like Merida in Brave.”

They looked at each other. Chloe with a big smile on her face.

“Oh my God, you’re so weird.”

That was one of Chloe’s superpowers. She could make her forget everything and just enjoy that exact moment.

And then both girls started laughing. It felt so good having that time for themselves. It had been a few long and weird weeks where they would only talk about the Worlds and Beca avoiding her friend so she wouldn’t have to tell her about her new job.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my internship.” Said Beca after a while, changing the subject.

She turned around to look at Chloe’s blue eyes.

“It’s okay Becs. It just made me sad that sometimes I feel you don’t trust me. I just want the best for you and I…” She sighed scared of making her friend mad.

“I’d never try to crash your dreams or something.” She broke eye contact and looked at the fire. Her eyes were tearful, but she managed to keep them in place.

Beca could see that sadness and it broke her heart. She searched for Chloe’s arm under the blanket.

Chloe has warmer than her. Beca spotted her friend’s soft arm and ran her hand down until she found her hand and intertwined their fingers.

Beca wasn’t a touchy person. She’d never liked that cheesy physical contact. It made her feel comfortless most of the times when Jesse tried to hold hands or cuddle while watching a movie, but it was all different with Chloe.

Chloe was Chloe.

“Oh God.” Said under her breath before meeting her eyes again.

Chloe looked back at Beca’s eyes the second she felt their hands together. It was like a lightning running through her body.

“Chlo, you know you’re my best friend. Don’t tell Amy I said that.”

_Best friend._ Of course. Anybody would love to be friends with Beca, she was special, and under the walls, she was loving and caring, but those words just broke Chloe’s heart more.

She had a crush on her friend since the first day they met, on the activity fair. It was when they did the mash-off of Bruno Mars when she first realized it wasn’t a simple crush anymore.

Her ‘best friend’ was the reason she failed Russian Lit 3 times. The reason she was thrilled for graduation. The reason she had eyes for nobody else.

She looked away. She should be happy for the words of Beca, but the pain was again inside her chest.

Beca moved gently Chloe’s chin so she would look at her again. “You know I trust with my life, Beale.”

“Look…” continued. “I didn’t want to disappoint you and not telling you made it worse. I just was trying to wait for the best moment and it didn’t come. I’m so sorry Chlo.”

Chloe felt she was drowning on the eyes of the girl in front of her. Unlike the other times, she was unable to read her friend. Beca looked different that night. Her eyes were almost dark and she could sense something was in Beca’s mind, but she knew her enough to know when it was better not to ask.

And she was right. Beca couldn’t stop thinking about what Chloe said the night before:

_“You know, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t do enough experimenting in college.”_

Why would Chloe say something like that? She did A LOT of experimentation with Tom years ago. She was forbidden from the library for a whole year for doing God knows what.

That sentence made Beca’s mind a mess. It had been a while since she felt her stomach flip around Chloe for the first time, and now things were getting worse.

Lately, her heartbeat was out of control when Chloe was in the room. She discovered what blushing was like and she found herself thinking about Chloe a lot more, and not in the best friend way anymore.

Where was Jesse in this equation? Why did she have all those doubts now?

She really liked Jesse, she loved him. They’ve been together almost 3 years now, she didn’t even remember what was Barden like before him, but she hadn’t ever felt this way before.

Her chest burned next to Chloe.

She was starting to feel the lack of oxygen in her lungs, the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling were back and Chloe noticed at the second.

The anxiety attacks weren’t as usual now as years before, but Chloe had learned how to handle them.

She put her arm around Beca and pulled her closer to her chest, hand on her cheek.

“Becs, breathe. It’s gonna be okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Said as moving her finger through Beca’s cheekbone. “Focus on the fire, it will help you calm down.”

_“What am I supposed to do?”_ Thought Beca. The guilt was back and it was too much to handle at that moment. The feeling that everything was about to fall apart was chasing her.

It was the moment for a change before it was too late.

She could feel the soft kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes. Hearing the heartbeat of her best friend made Beca calm.

“Do you feel any better?”

Beca nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not now, but I’m good.” Said trying not to worry her friend.

“Can I do something to help you?” Beca didn't sound convincing enough.

“Just keep being you.” Said without thinking it. As soon as she realized what did just said, she felt ashamed of her words as she sat up.

“Oh my God Beale, what did you do to me?” Said blushing as both started laughing.

Chloe’s hand was still in her cheek and they were facing each other. Close.

The tension was built again.

The light of the fire reflected on the ginger hair of Chloe down her shoulders. Pink cheeks. Red lips.

Eyes on each other eyes, and looks that escaped down on the lips. It would take just a second to reach them. They both wanted and somehow, they knew, but sometimes it was easier if they ignored it.

They were best friends. Would it mess everything up? Would they be ready to face all those feelings?

Anyway, Jesse was still in the equation. Beca loved him and would never cheat on anybody. Not after what her dad did, and Chloe knew. She just knew her friend so much that Chloe would never forgive herself to make Beca cheat on her boyfriend.

Chloe was just late. Someone took her friend’s heart before her. She was glad it was him. He was a good guy, who loved Beca, but not much more than her. **

The breaths against their skin didn’t make that situation any painless. The pressure on their chest it felt like it could exploit anytime.

“So…” Said Chloe clearing her throat and pulling away. “Maybe we should head back to the tent, we still have a long day before going back to Barden.”

She didn’t mean it. She would rather stay there forever, not moving an inch, next to her best friend, her loved one, but it wasn’t fair for Beca nor her.

“Oh…em… yeah, sure.” Said nodding as came back from her daydream.

Chloe was the first to get up as she offered her hand, which Beca took and held while they walked back their way to the tent where the other girls were already sleeping.

“Hey…” Chloe stopped Beca before going inside the tent. “Would you please tell me or wake me up if there’s something wrong or you’re not feeling okay? Please.” Murmured the older girl with her worried look.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Responded heart warmed with a shy smile on her face. “Thank you, Chlo.” Rubbing her fingers on her best friend’s hand.

“Okay.” Smiled back. “Good night Becs.” Said as she made her way inside the tent.

“Good night Chlo.” Sighed.

It would be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

A week had passed since the retreat, and even though Beca hated to admit it, it worked.

The Bellas were that blended family again. The harmony was back.

The relationship between Beca and Chloe improved (if that was even possible). Beca was pretty busy with her internship, the radio station and the Worlds, but she managed to go home early so she could spend some time in Chloe’s room; talking or just doing their stuff: Beca mixing and Chloe studying.

The time she didn’t had for Jesse.

Things weren’t going alright between them. Well, they weren’t going at all and Beca was aware of that situation. She also knew that avoiding him it would be easier than facing the fact that she didn’t love her boyfriend back the way she was supposed to.

She couldn’t make it last any longer. The guilt of those deep feelings for Chloe while being with Jesse ate her alive and it was just too much to handle.

“What are you working at?” A sweet voice returned her back to the world.

For a moment she’d forgot she was in Chloe’s room theoretically, working on her mixes.

“Oh, hey, just working on this ‘important client’ we have at the studio.” Said as she moved her headphones to her neck.

“Maybe if my boss likes my work, he’ll remember my name and stop calling me ‘Reggie’.” Beca rolled her eyes and moved lightly leaving some space for Chloe to lay next to her.

“No way he calls you Reggie!” Laughed loud Chloe. “I’ll call you Reggie too! I like it.”

“Dude! It’s not funny! And don’t you dare Beale!” It was hard to hold back the smile next to Chloe. Especially on moments like this, where the older woman was so unworried and seem so happy.

“Anyway, can I know who’s that ‘important client’?” Her teasing tone was back.

“Well, it’s supposed to be a secret, but I guess I can make an exception.”

Beca removed her headphones form her neck and handed them to her friend.

“You better keep it quiet Beale.” Said with a smirk.

“You know I will.” Winked while putting the headphones on her as Beca started the music. The moment the singer started, Chloe looked at Beca eyed open.

“Oh my God!” Mouthed not wanting to interrupt the song her friend was working on.

The song ended and Chloe was too in shock to react.

“I know I don’t have too much done and it’s just a demo to see if my boss tolerates it. Did you like it?” Said removing the music from Chloe’s ears.

Beca was always pretty confident about her musical gifts and she had always known her mixes were good, but when it came to Chloe, all of that disappeared.

“Are you kidding Becs? I love it! That’s your voice! You’ve sang with him!” Before Beca could reply, Chloe cut her off again. “Take my compliment Becs!” Giggled.

Beca’s phone suddenly lighted up.

_Jesse: Becaww! What are you doing? (10:23 pm)_   
_Jesse: You’re up for a movie night? (10:23 pm)_

“Keep it in your pants Beale!” Laughed Beca as she blocked her phone. “I recorded some vocals for the demo, but if my boss likes it, they’ll hide some professional to do it.” Her attention back to her friend.

“I really love it Becs.” Soft smile across her face. “I’m sure everyone will love it.”

Chloe move her hand on top of Beca’s and rubbed her thumb gently. Eyes on her best friend and the need of that moment to last forever.

“Well, you’re the first one listening it. You better enjoy your privilege Chlo.” Said with that smirk back on her face. Scared of looking to her friend’s eyes and getting lost again.

Chloe blushed. Beca always knew what to do to make her feel special, to make her feel the one. All the pain was worth that feeling.

“Um… Chlo, can I ask you something?” Asked nervous. “I don’t mean to stress you out.”

“Is that the question or you have another one?” Giggled the older woman as her friend rolled her eyes with a smile across her face. “Sure, Becs.”

“What are you doing next year? After graduation.” Still afraid to look at her friend.

“Actually, I’ve been looking for Vet schools around the country. My academic record is not the best, so I can’t close any door. I have my preferences.” Winked. “I guess you’ll still have in mind LA.”

“I’ve been avoiding talking about it because I don’t know what I want anymore.” It was the first time in ages that Beca was lost.

There it was again, Chloe could see it. That look she saw at the camp, unusual in Beca.

“I’m afraid that if I’ll move to a big city by myself, eventually I’ll lose who I am. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you guys.”

A crack in her voice made Chloe’s heart ache. Hand still on Beca’s.

“My preferences are next to LA. Becs, you aren't getting rid of me that easy.” She squeezed her hand. Her smile could cheer the saddest person in the world.

Being next to Chloe like that was painful. The feeling of having her so close and so far at the same time. She knew she shouldn’t search for those situations. It wasn’t fair for her nor Jesse.

But there was a magnet between them. Pulling them closer, wanting more. Both aware of their feelings.

Beca broke the eye contact and landed her gaze on Chloe’s lips. Wanting to feel them against hers.

Chloe swallowed loudly as her mouth dried when realized where Beca’s eyes were looking. She had a million thoughts in one second.

It was at that moment, before anything could happen when Beca’s phone rang making them separate quickly.

“Um… I…” cleared her throat, “it’s Jesse, so… um… I should get it.”

Jesse called at the best and worst moment he could. He interrupted a moment of intimacy the girls had, just the two of them, in a perfect world.

On the other hand, he avoided something the two women would regret. It may had been the situation, but it wasn’t the moment. Beca would had betrayed him and could never forgive herself.

Beca grabbed her laptop and headphones and placed a quick peck on Chloe’s temple. It was fast, but enough for Beca to smell her friend’s hair.

“Good night Chlo.” Almost whispered.

“Night Becs.” Right before the younger girl closed the bedroom door, leaving Chloe on her bed. Alone. It was a t that moment when the older woman realized the speed of her heart and the breath she had hold the entire time.

Beca left the room and hung Jesse up. She wasn’t in the mood for Jesse and didn’t want to spend the night watching shitty movies as her boyfriend cuddled her.

She needed to talk to Jesse. And she needed to do it soon.

 

* * *

 

 

_Beca: What are you doing? (6:43 pm)_

_Jesse: Just out of the Trebles practice (6:56 pm)_

_Jesse: What you up to? (6:56 pm)_

_Beca: I’m at the station (7:01 pm)_

_Beca: Could you pass by? (7:01 pm)_

_Beca: My shift ends at 9 pm and I’d like to talk to you (7:02 pm)_

_Jesse: Sure! Be there in 30 (7:05 pm)_

 

Twelve songs later, Beca saw her boyfriend entering the room. She could see him through the vinyl shelving. Lots of feelings and ideas across her mind.

Beca made her way out the cabin to meet the guy. Jesse approached and hugged her close, leaning a kiss on her forehead. Beca tensed, tears building in her eyes.

Was she doing the right thing?

“Hey Becaw! I’ve missed you.” It’s been almost two weeks since they spent time together. They usually talk five minutes when they’d change their shift at the station and a few messages through the day. No calls, no intimacy.

“What’s going on?” Asked Jesse pulling apart. She cleared her throat as she managed to look at the man in front of her.

“Jesse… I… Fuck.” She was so nervous she was shaking, hoping he wouldn’t notice. She never thought doing this would be this hard.

“Oh my God. Are you pregnant? You’ve been distant lately because of this? We’ll figure something out.” Said making her way towards her again.

“What? Dude! I’m not pregnant! Jesus Jesse.” Pulling him away.

“What’s going on Beca?” He was serious now.

“Jesse, look… I love you, but-“ She was cut off by the man’s voice.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Sadness was in his voice.

“I’m sorry Jess. I can’t do this, it’s not…” It was hard to talk with a lump in her throat.

Beca was trying to fit the proper words. It was hard when the most important reason was that she was falling in love with Chloe and couldn’t never feel the same for him.

“I know we are not at our best moment right now, but we can make it through this, we…” He sighed with a sarcastic smirk on his face. “It’s Chloe, isn’t it?”

Her heart stopped. The pression in her chest was back and so it was the lack of air in her lungs.

“Jesse… please…” Managed to say, tears in her eyes.

“I’ve been so stupid. All this time, all the cancelled plans.” He turned around, her back on Beca. He couldn’t look at her.

“I...” Said moving and placing her hand on his back.

“Don’t touch me!” Yelled as he turned to face her. “Did you cheat on me?”

She had never seen him that angry. He was mad. Hurt. Betrayed. And she knew Jesse would never hurt her, but she was scared.

“Did you cheat on me?” repeated loudly, facing her. It was just the two of them left at the station. The interns all had already left.

“No. I’d never. And you know that.” Said almost whispering. The anxiety didn’t let her do otherwise. Tears down her cheeks now.

“I should have noticed sooner. You sleep more in her bed than in mine. I feel so fucking stupid.” Fingers running across his short hair. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

“She’s playing with you, you know that? No one will love you as much as I do.” Looking directly into her eyes.

Jesse knew those words would hurt her now former girlfriend, but he didn’t care. He was so furious. He wanted her to feel the pain he was feeling.

“You break everything you touch.” It was the last thing he said before leaving the room, slamming the door.

Beca stood still her heart almost out of her chest. Breathing was harder than ever. She sat on the floor as she let the sobs came out, face in between her hands.

There she was. Alone again. It had been a long road. Two years and a half with Jesse. She couldn’t even imagine what it would be like Barden without him by her side. All those promises and all those feelings that once were real.

It was the first break up she had to face. Her high school hookups were nothing compared.

Jesse was her first boyfriend. Her first ‘something important’. In the end, he was her first love after all.

Would she hurt anybody around her that way? Every break up in her life would be like that? Was she throwing the relationship away because an illusion?

Feelings were too complicated to her. Everything was easier when she’d fucked the pain away with a random guy years ago.

_Beca: I’m busy at the station (8:15 pm)_

_Beca: I can’t come to movie night (8:15 pm)_

She couldn’t go home like that. Too many questions from everybody and she wasn’t ready. She needed to be alone. It was the only way she knew to deal with things like this.

She was alone when her parents divorced; she was alone when her grandmother died many years ago; and she was alone, pain on her heart, scared on what do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been hard writing this one cause I didn't want Jesse to look like a bad guy. It felt like I didn't progress through this chapter, so I hope at least anyone reading this, can tolerate it. I've started chapter 3 and I'm way happier. Sorry if there's any mistake!


	3. Chapter 3

_Beca: I’m busy at the station (8:15 pm)_

_Beca: I can’t come to movie night (8:15 pm)_

Chloe’s smile faded away when she read the message. Popcorn in her hand. It was alright, Beca was busy, they’d have more movie nights with the Bellas.

_Chloe: :( (8:16 pm)_

_Chloe: Call me if you need a ride home x (8:16 pm)_

Although the radio station was ten minutes from home, Chloe didn’t love the idea of Beca walking the way alone, late at night.

 

“Chloe, are you ready?” Said Stacie before starting the movie.

 

“Yeah! Beca’s not coming, so we can start whenever you want.” Said trying to hide her deception as she pulled up the blanket she would have shared with Beca.

 

Flo turned off the lights and Chloe tried to focus and enjoy the movie.

* * *

 

 

1:36 a.m.

 

The door of Chloe’s bedroom opened slightly. A ray of light entered to the room. It was enough for Beca to memorize the way to her friend’s bed.

 

Chloe was half sleep and she didn’t notice the body of her friend until she was next to her bed. It was dark and Chloe could only see the shape of the body, but it was enough for her to know who it was.   

 

Beca knew that movie night usually ended around 11:30 pm so she managed to get home way later. She couldn’t risk anyone seeing her like that.

 

She also knew Amy’s routine. After the movie, she would brush teeth and lay in bed talking to Bumper and most of the days, sneaking out to meet him. It was better pretend you were asleep than asking her where was she going.

 

“Hey Becs.” Said trying to focus her eyes. “You okay?”

 

“Can I sleep with you tonight? Whispered Beca trying to make her not realize the situation.

 

“Yeah, sure.” Said confused she moved to the other side of the bed.

 

It wasn’t a big bed, but it was enough for the two of them. It was also a good excuse to sleep close to each other and cuddle.

 

Beca was always the big spoon and Chloe was no one to argue that, she loved it, so when Beca laid down next to her friend, Chloe turned to the other side in a way that Beca could hug her as always.

 

But it didn’t happen.

 

Chloe looked backward on her friend and saw her on the other side of the bed, with Beca’s back facing her.

 

 Chloe moved next to her. Now she was sure something was wrong with Beca, too many years of breaking her walls down. She moved next to her and ran her arm over the small body of Beca and pulled her closer.

 

Was it a hard day at work? Was his boss a jerk again?

 

And although Chloe’s heart broke every time Beca was having a hard time, she was happy that her best friend counted on her when she was feeling down. She was happy that Beca trusted her enough to lean to her. Maybe she was ready to tell what was wrong, why the sad looks.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Breath on Beca’s nape, face half buried in her friend’s hair.

 

“Not now. Please.” Answered with a broken whisper. Chloe could tell.

 

The older woman moved even closer and hugged Beca tight and placed a kiss on Beca’s neck.

 

“Everything is gonna be alright.”

 

Beca’s heart jumped almost out of her chest. She could feel Chloe’s breaths on the back of her neck.

 

When her feelings were chasing her, the only thing that could calm her down was Chloe, even though her heart almost exploited when she was around.

 

She just wanted to cry on her best friend’s arms and wanted to hear that she would fix it out and everything would be back to normal.

 

The rhythm of Chloe’s heart and the warm of her body eventually calmed her. She managed to control her breathing and her pulsations were back on its range.

 

Beca was never the small spoon when she was cuddling with her best friend, but she was with Jesse.

 

Chloe felt so different than her former boyfriend. She couldn’t explain the way she made her feel, but the chills were constantly running down her back. In a way, it was like she could feel the love.

 

When it was Jesse the one hugging her, Beca didn’t feel with him half as she felt with Chloe. With Jesse, at the end, she felt guilt, discomfort.

 

Her world was falling apart and she didn’t know what to do to stop it, so she was falling apart with it.

 

 

3:43

 

Chloe woke up in the same position she fell asleep, hugging Beca. She could feel something shaking next to her.

 

“Beca?” Said confused as she tried to realize the situation.

 

That was the moment when the reality hit her.

 

The tears won the battle against Beca and she couldn’t hold it back anymore. She was crying in a way Chloe had never seen her before.

 

“Oh my God, Beca. What’s wrong honey?” She was worried now. There was no way this could be something her boss had said. Something was really wrong with her and Chloe didn’t know what to do.

 

Beca didn’t answer, she couldn’t find the voice.

 

Through the years, she had learnt that most of the times non-verbal communication worked for them, so she turned around and put her head on her friend’s chest and wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging close to each other. And the sobs began.

 

It did work.

 

Chloe knew Beca would tell her nothing in that state and the only thing she could try was to allay her friend. She put one hand on Beca’s hair, moving her head closer to her heart and wiping her tears away; and with the other hand, she started rubbing her back.

 

“I’m here honey. I’m not leaving.” Repeated. She was conscious of the need her friend had to hear those words.

 

The minutes passed and bit by bit, she stopped crying. She kept glued on her friend trying to catch air and trying to explain to Chloe what had happened.

 

“I broke up with Jesse.” It came out as a whisper. The room was silent and Chloe was able to hear it.

 

 Her heart stopped.

 

She hugged her closer.

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that Becs.”

 

Since the shower incident, something clicked inside of Chloe. It all started as a simple attraction which evolved on a crush and finally became love. She could say she was on love with her best friend.

 

She was used to it.

 

She was used to the not-reciprocate feelings, the crazy beating heart and the lack of oxygen when she was around her, the silly smile every time Beca approached, the need to feel Beca, to be with her. Cause after all, Beca was her drug.

 

She liked Jesse. He was a good guy, a good guy in love. She made her friend happy, and for Chloe it was enough.

 

“What happened Beca? I know you don’t want to talk about it, but if you don’t tell me I can’t help you feel better.” Said scared of making her feel even worse. She could feel Beca’s tears running downs her face and landing on her neck.

 

“Please Becs, talk to me and let me help you.” Said desperate trying not to focus on the warm breaths below her ear.

 

Suddenly she felt how Beca lifted until their eyes connected. The room was dark but the moonlight entered through the window was enough to differentiate shadows. A chill ran down Chloe’s spine and feeling Beca that close to her made her heart stop.

 

Chloe closed her eyes as she felt their noses grazing gently against each other. She gasped in need of air. Lots of doubts in Beca’s mind. Was it worth the risk of their relationship? Was it worth her happiness? What if Chloe pushed her away?

 

She needed to shut her thoughts up. Everything that held her back was gone now.

 

And it was at that instant when Beca leaned closer and closed the gap between them.

 

It was a soft kiss. Simple and short before their lips pull apart. A desperate tear ran down Chloe’s cheek. After all those years waiting, failing just to keep being a Bella, to keep having Beca around. She would suffer it all again just for that moment.

 

Only a few inches separated them, they could feel each other’s breaths close, accelerated. Beca’s hair was covering her eyes and was falling dawn on Chloe’s face. Chloe moved carefully her hand to put Beca’s hair behind her ear and although it was dark, at least to be able to feel Beca’s eyes, to be able to look at her.

 

Some seconds later, Chloe put her down again, finding her lips halfway, captivating Beca’s bottom lip in between her own. Sucking hard.

 

The chills travelled down their spines when Beca’s tongue touched Chloe’s lip for the first time. Soft and wet. The need to taste her more, the urge to feel her. It felt right.

 

Those kisses evolved from the innocent and careful to the needy, full of lust and waiting.

 

Beca moved on top of Chloe, in between her thighs, hands tangled on the red hair, kissing her friend passionate.

 

Chloe’s hands were on her best friend’s waist, touching lightly her warm skin, pulling her closer, wanting to feel her more than she already was.

 

Casual moans came out in between kisses wanting to make that moment last forever.

 

Chloe had been waiting for that moment for almost four years and not even her dreams could be compared on how good that felt.

 

Beca’s heart was nearly out of her chest. From the moment their lips touched, she felt full, like she had filled the hole inside her. The hole not even Jesse could have make her feel this alive.

 

Kissing Chloe felt exciting, hotter, unworried. Right.

 

The temperature was rising within them and Beca let herself go.

 

She let her hips fall into Chloe’s center while she started kissing her jaw up her way to her ear. Chloe could feel the warm and wet breaths against her ear for a flash, just before Beca made her way down her neck, finding spot and sucking and biting hard, tasting her friend. The idea of leaving a mark wasn’t on their mind at that moment.

 

It made the older woman moan. Eyes open with her dilated pupils. She wanted to feel her again, closer, harder.

 

The younger girl’s hands ran up the sides of Chloe’s torso, leaving goosebumps on her way up to find her chest braless. She moved her hand surrounding her boobs, slowly, feeling the touch.

 

A gasp came out as she contacted her hard nipples and started stroking them. Her thumb moved in circles stimulating them more, trying to make Chloe enjoy the movements she was making.

 

Chloe knew they were reaching the point of no return, so she tried to find the air to say the most difficult words she had to say in her life.

 

“Becs…” The lack of oxygen was hard to stand. “Beca… stop.” Said almost as a whisper.

 

“Stop, please.” Said as getting up.

 

She could feel the eyes of terror of her friend in front of her, analyzing what they just did. This couldn’t be their first time. She had enjoyed the kisses and the sensations she had felt more than with anybody else, but she didn’t want to risk that to be a ‘one-time thing’. Not with Beca. Not with all those feelings.

 

“I just don’t want to do it like this.” Hoping her friend to understand.

 

“I’m sorry Chlo, I don’t know what was I thinking. I… I should go.” She sounded ashamed of what just happened.

 

Chloe didn’t know if what was about to do would help the situation or screw it up and make things worse, but she grabbed Beca’s wrist as she got up the bed ready to leave.

 

“Please don’t go. I didn’t mean it like that. Please stay here tonight.” Chloe knew the moment her friend crossed the door, the anxiety and overthinking would eat her alive.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Please.”

 

Chloe gave a quick peck on the corner of her friend’s lips before leaving some space so Beca could lay next to her.

 

Chloe pull her close leaning her head on Beca’s neck, burying her head in her hair and arm around her friend’s waist holding her close.

 

Beca, lost in her thoughts, put her arm around Chloe, rubbing her hand against her back.

 

Even though their eyes were wide open, neither of them said a word for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

 

The sunlight coming through the window woke Beca up. It was early in the morning and they somehow managed to fall asleep.

 

She turned around and found Chloe, asleep. A smile appeared across her face when she remembered last night. When she found the courage to kiss her, and how Chloe pulled her in to kiss her back.

 

Chloe was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Her red hair was falling down her pale face. She moved gently her hair away her face uncovering the scar on her forehead. The scar her friend hated and always complained. The scar Beca had always loved.

 

Her red lips, the ones she was lucky to kiss last night and the only ones she wanted to kiss forever.

 

Her heart raced as the thoughts were appearing. After that kiss, she was sure Chloe liked her back, and maybe someday, Chloe would love her the way Beca did.

_“She’s playing with you, you know that? No one will love you as much as I do.”_

It came as a lightning. Fast and unexpected. The argument with Jesse was back in her head.

 

Everything was too good to be real. The smile on her face fade away and her eyes were fulling with tears. Her heart was rising but not because of the thoughts of last night, but for the anxiety taking control of her.

 

“ _Fuck. Breathe Beca.”_ Thought to herself. As she turned staring at the ceiling.

 

_“You break everything you touch.”_ Why were those words back in her head?

 

She turned around back to her friend, peacefully sleeping. She was just perfect.

 

A silent tear ran down Beca’s cheek. What if Jesse was right? She knew eventually she’d end up hurting her, making her unhappy. She could never forgive herself from hurting Chloe, making her cry and break her heart. She should back up before it was too late.

 

She did what she thought it was right. She grabbed a piece of paper and the pen on Chloe’s table.

 

_“I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have done it._

_Just forget about it. I made a mistake.”_

She placed it on Chloe’s pillow, so she would see it as she’d wake up.

 

That girl was hard to stop looking at. She was so beautiful. Would she be able to move on from perfection? From true happiness?

 

Beca ran her gaze down Chloe’s jaw to notice the huge hickey from last night.

 

“Fuck!” Came out as a whisper.

 

_“Sorry about your neck. I didn’t mean to. Sorry”_ Added to the note.

 

It was too much for her to handle. She just needed distance, forget Chloe, let her go and let her be happy, even if that would kill her inside.

 

Chloe’s alarm rang half an hour after Beca had left. As she opened her eyes, was blinded by the sunlight falling directly onto her face. Memories about last night flashed on her head. She blushed as she thought of the taste on Beca. A big smile that made her face hurt.

 

She would have loved waking up next to Beca, but if things were right, they’d have plenty of time to do so. Or so she thought.

 

She sat up on her bed when she noticed the note next to her. Her heart pounded and tears here building in her eyes as she read it.

 

_“It’s okay, we just need to talk about it.”_ Thought to herself. _“We’ll figure something out.”_

_“Sorry about the neck?”_ Read confused Chloe as she ran her hand down the spot.

 

“Oh no.” She sighed. She looked for the little mirror in her drawer.

 

“Shit!” mumbled as she pressed her finger on the mark.

 

She knew if the Bellas saw it, they’d ask too many questions which she wasn’t ready to answer. She also knew Beca would be probably panicking right now because of it.

 

She was out of make-up, and she couldn’t ask other girls or they’d saw it. She would straighten her hair and it would say she had burnt her neck. That would be a good excuse, wouldn’t it? Or at least enough to avoid questions.

 

Twenty minutes later she entered the kitchen when the other girls were having breakfast. With a strip on her neck.

 

“Good morning everyone!” Trying to sound as happy as every morning. She scanned the room looking for Beca who was next to the coffee maker, look at her out of the corner of your eye, avoiding eye contact.

 

“Still don’t understand how you get up this fresh, red.”

 

It was weird see Fat Amy having breakfast with them. She had spent most nights out lately and it was nice seeing her some days.

 

“That’s because you don’t sleep enough.” Winked

 

“You know, in Guatemala-“ 

 

“What the fuck happened to your neck?” Stacie cut her off and stepped next to the redhead.

 

 She could feel the fear eyes of Beca on her.

 

“I got burned with the hair iron. It’s okay, I’ve took care of it, don’t worry.” She hoped that would be enough to avoid more questions. She started moving so she could reach Beca before she left.

 

“Are you sure? It looks pretty ba-“

 

“I’m sure Stace, thanks.” Chloe cut her off. Stacie was like Aubrey 2.0. When she had an issue and Aubrey was far or about something Beca wouldn’t understand, Stacie was there to listen to her, to help her. But that wasn’t the time or place.

 

Chloe never talked about Beca with Stacie. She’d leak some comments when drunk, but the only person who knew about the true feelings was Aubrey.

 

Stacie understood somehow the look Chloe gave her and changed the topic of the conversation.

 

“So girls, this Friday we have this party…” Chloe didn’t pay attention. She leaned hand on Beca’s lower back. She could feel how the other woman almost jumped at the contact.

 

“Can we talk? Please.” Whispered so no one could hear them.

 

Beca was nervous, Chloe could tell. She cleared her throat, trying to help the words came out. “We have nothing to talk about.” Whispered back. Avoiding looking at her.

 

“I do want to talk to you.” Chloe was getting mad. She woke up to find that shitty note and now Beca is trying to avoid her? It looked like she was facing the freshman Beca, with thicker walls.

 

“I have to go.” Said Beca as she turned around and left the kitchen.

 

Chloe stood there for a moment. A lost gaze on her eyes and a broken heart. She went back to her room. She knew if she stood there for another second, she would break down and she didn’t want the other girls to know what was going on.

 

But Stacie had been watching them all the time, and she knew something was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey anyone! Sorry for the delay! I'm not forgetting about it, just pretty busy. I hope I didn't mess up the chapter with the end. The next one will take me a while, but I'll post it as soon as I can! Sorry if there're some mistakes. Hope you like it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Chloe's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey anyone! I know it's been too long and I'm so sorry! It's been a long summer and my computer just broke. There's a part that has been hard for me to write and it helped me in some ways and I tried not to write it too explicit, (here to warn before it's too late) so let me know what you think.

"Alright pitches!" We have a party to crash tonight!" Fat Amy said as she entered the living room on Friday afternoon.

 

It was usual for the girls to hang there on Friday after lunch. Except for Beca, who was busy with the station and the internship, the other Bellas used to spend those hours talking about their day, watching a movie or just singing and dancing.

 

Stacie entered the room behind Amy. "Are you ready girls? We are hunting tonight." Stacie said winking at Chloe who was sitting next to Jessica and Cynthia Rose.

 

Stacie knew something was going on between Beca and Chloe. She had eyes. And even though it was obvious, Chloe would avoid or deny every time she would ask her. She tried to ask Beca as well, but her halls here thicker now Chloe wasn't around for her.

 

It had been a long week for Chloe. After what happened with Beca, the tension between them had been growing. There were no more nights in Chloe's bedroom, no more texts through the day, no more stolen gazes or inside jokes.

 

Beca was the last to arrive at the practice and the first one to leave, limiting her time around Chloe. The internship was always a good excuse.

 

 Chloe was tried. She just wanted to have a good night of sleep. She wanted to leave behind all those nights of silently crying to sleep alone in her room so the other Bellas wouldn't notice. She wanted to be Chloe again, the Happy Chloe and not the one pretending to be, wearing that mask every day until she reached her room and loneliness again.

 

Chloe was tied, but maybe a party would be what would cheer her up, what she needed. She smiled back at Stacie and nodded.

 

"Okay pitches! Let's get slutty!" Chloe said trying to sound excited as she got up from the couch and headed to her room to dress up as the other girls did the same.

 

She was climbing the stairs as she felt a hand on her wrist stopping her.

 

"Hey Red," Stacie whispered wanting to be unnoticed by the other Bellas. Are you sure you're okay?" A comforting smile appeared on her face. She wanted Chloe to trust her, she wanted to be there for Chloe just like Chloe had been there for her when Aubrey and she broke up.

"What? Yeah, I… um… I'm okay." Chloe said as a nervous smile on her face betrayed her. She had tried to avoid Stacie's questions the whole week. She didn't talk about it, not now, not there.

 

"Chlo," Stacie raised her eyebrow, enough for letting her know she didn't believe a word she had said.

 

"It's just a tough week," she finally admitted. "But I don't want to talk about it. Not now."  She smiled. It was a fake smile but was the best she could give that moment.

 

Chloe turned around heading to her room, but before she could do anything, Stacie's voice interrupted her again.

 

"Does Aubrey know?" Her voice cracked. Stacie didn't usually talk about Aubrey after their break up. Chloe had asked if she was okay with the retreat were Aubrey worked, and at the camp, things seem cordial and they even talked a little.

 

Most of the times are barely impossible winning the battle against distance.

 

"What?" Chloe turned to see the brunette many stairs behind her. She didn't expect that name to come up.

 

The younger woman was tense, Chloe could tell. She was looking down, playing nervously with her fingers.

 

"Have you told Aubrey?" Repeated. "I know she's busy in Seattle this week, but-"

 

She was cut off when Chloe hugged her. She could feel how Stacie melted into the hug, holding her close, as it was a need.

 

"I owe you a talk, and I'll make it up to you, but not now. I promise." Stacie didn't need more words to know she wouldn't get anything more for now. "Get slutty!" She shouted as Chloe made her way up the stairs.

* * *

 

 

Chloe got dressed faster than she thought. It was just another acapella party. She opted for those skinny black jeans and that grey blouse that somehow matched with her eyes.

 

She put some mascara on, in front of the mirror she had in her room. She didn't realize she had been standing there for a while, analyzing the woman reflected.

 

She didn't even recognize herself. Her blue eyes didn't shine like they used to anymore due to the crying every night to sleep, she wasn't able to smile, she just could fake some kind of grin she tried to look like a smile. Her sparkle wasn't with her anymore.

 

She looked at that mark in her neck again, it had almost disappeared, like her happiness the moment Beca shot her down.

 

She was convincing the woman in front of her that she wanted, that she needed to party, that she needed a girl's night out, have fun and forget about the week; but it's hard to forget when the reason you're down is always around.

 

Hopefully, she'll get drunk and sleep ‘properly' for the first night this week. A knock on the door brought her back to reality. ‘Please don't be Stacie asking about this week again' she hoped.

 

"Hey Red," the Australian blond opened the door, "are you ready to party?"

 

"Born ready," she joked. "Are we already leaving?"

 

"Nup yet, but we're playing ‘truth or dare' as a bonding activity before we leave," she said innocently, "and get wasted" she added.

 

"Okay Ames, I'll be downstairs in a minute, I'll grab my stuff."

 

She actually enjoyed the drinking games they had before parties and it was just an excuse to share their dirty secrets. She'll really be going to miss those girls when they graduate.

 

When Chloe got downstairs, she found Emily drinking two shots of something Fat Amy had given to her.

 

“Hey! We like Legacy and we don’t want to kill her, you remember?” She said making her way to the couch while CR handed her a drink.

 

“Lilly, your turn,” Stacie said. “Truth or dare?” She was sure the quiet girl would choose ‘dare’.

 

“Truth,” Lilly mumbled.

 

“You know what? Never mind.” She said trying to change the topic. “I’m not ready to hear a truth from you.” She continued as the other girls laughed at the reaction.

 

“Amy, truth or dare?” Said Chloe.

 

“Dare obviously, I’m like an open book and you know everything about me.” Said as taking a sip of her drink.

 

“I dare you to tell Legacy how much she means to you,” said with a smirk on her face.

 

“Come on!” Amy groaned.

 

They were really having a good time. Chloe hadn’t been this mood the whole week and it was nice having a real smile on her face.

 

“My turn captain,” Said Amy with an evil smile. “I’m gonna make you suffer the way you did. Truth or dare?”

 

“Truth?” she hesitated.

 

“What happened with Beca?”

 

She could feel her heart getting faster and her hands shaking. This couldn’t be happening, it must be some kind of joke. She didn’t trust her voice to say anything and she could just look at Stacie for help.

 

The brunette was blank. She didn’t know what to say either and she didn’t talk about the problem Beca and Chloe had with any of the Bellas.

 

“Come on Red, we have eyes, we’re not as stupid as Legacy.”

 

“Who’s not stupid?” A familiar voice that came from the front door interrupted the girls.

 

“Do you want to repeat the question, Amy?” Beca said in her intimidating tone, making her way to the living room. “I see,” she continued when Amy shut her mouth.

 

The girls knew not to mess around with Beca, she was small, but she would win any of them, they saw enough when she punched that guy during her freshman year.

 

“Are you ready Beca? I think we’re ready to leave.” Stacie saw the opportunity to change the subject and get going to the party.

 

“Yeah, I’m not coming, but have fun.” She said with her sarcastic smile.

 

“You’re coming and it’s not a question Hobbit.” Stacie grabbed Beca’s hand when she tried to leave.

 

“Look at you, on you Aubrey mood, are you guys together again or something?” Beca knew she was hurting her. Stacie was one of her closest friends, but she didn’t give a fuck, she was too tired.

 

“We are leaving. Now. And you’re coming with us.” The girls started making their way out of the house, they knew it was better not to bother them, Aubrey was even scarier than Beca.

 

Something of the look Stacie gave Beca made her change her mind and obey the taller girl following the other girls.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you okay?” Chloe asked Stacie once they got to the party.

 

“Yeah, thanks Red. Are you?”

 

“I’ll be,” she said with a smile. “Thanks for understanding.”

 

“Now let’s drink!” Stacie grabbed her hand and made her way to CR and Amy.

 

It was nice. She almost forgot Beca was there somewhere. She was really enjoying her time with the other girls and with herself. Some fresh air was really good.

 

But she had to turn around. She couldn’t focus on the conversation Ashley and Jessica were having in front of her. She had to turn around to see Beca talking to Jesse and it didn’t seem an awkward conversation, they seemed to be okay and have fun.

 

She couldn’t cry again. Not there, not now. She did what she thought it would be a good alternative and make her way to Fat Amy and Flo who were standing next to the alcohol table.

 

“Hey, Ames! Give me some shots of yours.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chloe tried to open up her eyes. They were heavier than any other hangover she could have. Her mouth was dry, and she still could taste the alcohol and cigarettes she consumed last night. Except that she doesn't smoke at all. Not after she got her nodes removed.

She was disoriented when she made her way to the bathroom. She tried to replay the night in her head all over again, but she had this big cut in the night like somebody erased her memory.

 

It wasn't the first time she didn't remember the night entirely, but it was the first time she felt like that. She didn't even remember how or when she came back home, or even if she was alone.

 

She needed to pee. Again.

 

It hurt. It was like someone punctured her every time she tried to pee. But it wasn't until she looked down when she worried. There was blood in her underwear.

 

"My period is just over. It can't be it." Thought to herself. "What happened last night?" She mumbled. She was feeling sick, and not due to the hangover.

 

She stood in front of the mirror, studying her face and her body, looking for the clues and the memories of last night.

 

She had this huge bruise on her left forehead. She ran her fingers through it. It was warm and increased her headache. "Some ice would work on it." Thought. Something flashed on her head. She didn't know if it was a memory or a feeling of her head hitting a cold wall repeatedly.

 

Her eyes were red, like if she had spent the whole night crying, or maybe it was for the accumulation of all the times she had cried the past week.

 

And at the end of the tour through her face, her eyes landed on her neck, noticing a hickey on the right side of her neck. It wasn't very big, but it was enough to be seen. It wasn't the same one Beca left on her almost a week ago.

 

She had another feeling from last night. She couldn't remember entirely, but she could feel a breath against her face, she could taste the cigarettes in her mouth as if it was her the one smoking. She could remember how disgusted she was at that flavor and how the floppy kisses traveled down her neck, where the hickey was placed.

 

She felt a lump on her throat and it was harder for her to breath properly. She took a quick shower. She still didn't remember what happened, but she felt dirty. Her worst nightmare came across her mind. Did she have sex with anyone and didn't remember it?

 

Everybody seemed to be still asleep. It was only 10 in the morning on that Saturday and it looked like the party lasted longer than expected. She took that chance to go to the kitchen and drink some water to fight the dehydration and some ice for that bruise.

 

She was back to her room in less than a minute. She closed the door behind her and sat on her bed. Her back on the wall and her mind, on another world.

 

Thoughts again on her mind. Sensations she could feel, as if were happening at that same moment.

 

Everything was getting clearer. She still had no idea of what happened last night, but that images in her head were too bad to ignore.

 

She could feel a body behind, pushing her forward making her hit a cold wall several times and a big bruise as a reminder.

 

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts. Who could it be? It was still early and she was sure most of the girls were agonizing after the party,

 

"Who's there?" Chloe said after clearing her throat.

 

"Hey Chlo, it's me," Stacie said opening the door to check on her friend. "Can we talk or is this a bad moment?"

 

"No, yeah it's fine, come in." Of course, it was a bad time. She wanted to be left alone. She didn't want anybody to see her like this. On the other hand, Stacie had been trying to help her all week and she had been avoiding her, and maybe she could help her remember what happened last night.

 

"Oh God, what happened to your neck? I no longer take the ‘I burned myself' excuse. I didn't believe you the first time and I don't believe you now." Stacie said with a smirk on her face.

 

"I was hoping you could tell me actually," Chloe whispered and a broken smile appeared on her face, trying to hide her deception.

 

"Wait… You don't remember what happened last night?" The smirk disappeared from her face as she sat down on Chloe's bed, wrapping her arm around her.

 

"I have all these flashes and feelings in my head and I just hope it's just a nightmare," Chloe explained trying to hold back her tears.

 

"What kind of flashes?"

 

"Like the taste of cigarettes when I don't even smoke, the sensation of hitting many times the wall with my head," she said pointing her bruise, "someone touching and grabbing me all the time." She couldn't hold herself anymore and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

"Chlo…" Stacie mumbled. She didn't know what to say. She hugged her friend close. Stacie had been there too and talking about it out loud and someone there to listen helped her.

 

  "I don't even remember how I got here," Chloe said as she leaned her head on Stacie's chest.

 

"I sent Flo with you when you were leaving. You seemed so upset I didn't want to leave you alone. And then the party got mad and I couldn't go with you.

 

"What happened Stace?" Her gaze was lost, and the tears didn't stop.

 

"I saw you talking to that guy most of the night. You were pretty drunk, but I thought it was just like any other night," Stacie started, trying to choose the right words, she didn't want her friend to feel worse than she was already feeling.

 

"You just seemed happy for the first time this week," Said with a broken smile while checking on her friend, still leaned on her chest. "I know when you're faking your smile, Aubrey taught me how to do it," Stacie said trying to erase the tension.

 

"I don't know what time it was, but you passed next to me and when I asked you where were you going, you told me you needed to pee. I asked you if you wanted me to go with you and you said you were okay." Stacie continued.

"When I saw you again, you were so upset and all you said to me is that you made a huge mistake and you wanted to go home." She sighed. "Then I sent Flo with you. I didn't see that hickey yesterday, I just…" Her voice cracked.

 

Chloe looked up to see her friend, trying to hold back her tears.

 

"I'm so sorry you had to go through this," Stacie said clearing her throat and squeezing Chloe's hand.

 

"It's just…" Chloe said trying to catch her breath, "This feeling..." She shook her head trying to erase last night away from her mind. "I feel so used and dirty and guilty. I shouldn't have drunk the shoots Amy gave to me." She said as she dried the tear that was falling.

 

"Someone taking advantage of you when you're drunk it's not okay, Chlo." She took a deep breath and attempted to choose the right words.

 

"I've been there. It happened during my freshman year, just before Christmas." She started. "I didn't tell you guys because I was ashamed. As you said, I felt so used I just wanted to cry." It was getting harder to breathe.

 

"When I went home in Alabama I told my friends what happened and hey just laughed." She couldn't hold her tears anymore. "I just needed someone who would tell me everything would be alright." A sob came out before she could stop it.

 

"Oh God, Stace…" She was speechless. Now I was Chloe he one holding he younger woman. Their tears were mixed on the blanket while they were falling.

 

"Does anybody else know about this?" Chloe said when she found the strength to talk without breaking down again.

 

"After Christmas break, I was blue all the time. I couldn't stop crying when I was by myself." The hand rubbed against Stacie's back seemed to calm the younger woman. "One day I forgot I was supposed to meet Aubrey before practice and she saw that scene. That day was when we started getting close." She continued, now with a shy smile on her face.

 

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice, I'm sorry you had to go through that." She said as she held her close.

 

"It's not your fault, honey. I'm a pretty good actress," She replied with a wink. "Plus, I asked Aubrey to keep it between us."

 

"Can I ask what happened between Aubrey and you?" Chloe said before Stacie could say anything.

 

"You just did, didn't you?" She said with a shy smirk.

"Oh, come on!" Chloe said exaggerating the role of her eyes.

 

They both were calmer, and Stacie wanted to give some time to Chloe before asking about her situation with Beca and talking about her and Aubrey wasn't the best topic to lighten the mood.

 

"Look Chlo, I know Aubrey is your best friend and I don't want to put you in between the situation." She said with a sad smile. Years had passed, but it still hurt.

 

"I am in between you, Stace. And the other Bellas too. We've lived together for three years now and I've seen you at your best and at your worst. I've seen everybody at their best and at their worst, actually." Chloe said with a reassuring smile.

 

"Besides, I know it was all her fault. She was too ashamed to tell me what she did." She continued.

 

"Okay," she cleared collecting courage to start her story. "Since she found me crying that day, we started talking a lot more. She was very intimidating at first because she looked so powerful and perfect." She sighed.

 

"Then she opened up, and she was as broke as me and she was having those troubles with her father, and she was graduating and scared of what to do." It was getting harder to talk.

 

"She was my best friend and she was just what I needed. And I thought the crush I had on her was only because of how nice she was to me and how good we complemented each other. We were talking all day and we hang out a lot.

 

And one night we were going home after a Trebles' party, I think you guys were still there, and we were alone and drunk, and she kissed me, and I kissed her back. Since then, we started seeing each other as something more. It was obvious you guys knew about us, but everyone was too scared of Aubrey to say something." She smiled at the memory.

 

"I knew she was leaving in a few months and I knew in my head that she would start her new like and I probably wouldn't be in it, that she would live far away and what we had would end. I knew it, so I decided to just enjoy the moment.

 

But after Nationals, we weren't ready to say goodbye. We kept talking all summer and she even visited me twice. She told me about the lodge and that she wanted it to be close to Atlanta, so she could visit next year." I was getting harder to keep talking, tears were again in her eyes and she didn't know what to do to hold them any longer.

 

"But when I started feeling those things in my stomach every time we were around, or the need I had to talk to her, to hang with her, the way my heart beat when we were together, that wasn't a crush anymore. She kept visiting, she came here at least once a month almost all my sophomore year.

 

We'd been distant because she told me she was busy with the lodge, which was okay, I was so happy her dream was a reality.

 

But then that call happened just after spring break. She told me her father found out about us, and as her father says, ‘no woman is good enough without a man who gives her children'" A sob came out of the younger woman. "God, why am I crying again" Mumbled to herself. This was harder than she thought.

 

Chloe's eyes were wide open. She knew it was all Aubrey fault, but she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

 

"When we had our trip a few weeks ago it was the first time in a year and a half we meet." She dried her face and tried to breathe properly again. It wasn't a sad story anymore, not for now.

 

"After the fight, you and Beca had Aubrey asked me if we could talk alone, I caught me out of guard and I said yes. She apologized for what she did and how stupid she was for listening to her father instead of her own feelings." She turned her face to Chloe, who was too shocked to say a word.

 

"We talked a lot and we said all we needed to say to each other, and I realized I still love her, and she loves me, so yeah, Beca was right. We are talking again, but we're going to take all the time we need to trust each other again. She doesn't want me to say it, but she may come to visit next week after her trip."

 

And again, before Chloe could say something about it, it was Stacie the one who asked.

 

"Now your turn, what the fuck happened with Beca?"

 

"I had no idea you had to go through this Stace, I would have killed Aubrey if I know this sooner, but I'm so glad you're fixing things between you. You are made for each other. Aubrey seems really happy when you're around." She said as she held her friend's hand.

 

"Thanks, Red, I really appreciated it coming from you, but don't play with me and answer my question." She said raising her eyebrow.

 

 "Right…em…" She hadn't even started talking and she could already feel the knot in her throat.

 

"I think it was on Monday when she came to my room. It was late a night, and she was so upset and she told me Jesse and she broke up. She couldn't stop crying and when I could calm her down and asked her what happened, she kissed me. It was like a dream came true." She smiled at the memory as a tear ran down her cheek.

 

"You were right, I didn't get burnt," she blushed. "I wished that night lasted forever."

 

"I stopped her before something else could happen. I didn't want to do it like that, I didn't want a ‘one-time thing', but she stayed the night and we cuddle and we were…us."

 

Next morning, I woke up alone with a piece of paper by my side. ‘It was a mistake' it said. When I got to the kitchen the next morning I tried to talk to her, but she said she didn't want to. She's been avoiding me since then. She fucking ran away again. And she's pushing me away and it's killing me." She covered her face with her hands to avoid the sob coming out. It had been a long, awful week and she was just exhausted.

 

"Hey, hon… It's okay to cry, I'm here." Stacie said pulling her closer, rubbing her back as she broke down.

 

"I've been crying all week," she managed to say. "I don't think my eyes can cry anymore."

 

"Why didn't you tell me any of this when I asked you this week? I've asked you about ten times if you were okay." She said as she dried the tears that were falling down Chloe's face.

 

"I just love her so much, Stace. I thought that if I gave her some space and time everything would work out, but it's been a week and I can't handle it anymore. I'm just too tired and I think it's time for me to move on." It came out like a broken whisper.

 

"She loves you too, you know," She started with a reassuring smile, "and I know you're mad and I get it because I'll be mad too. But when she talks to you, you really should listen to her and let her explain."

 

"Let her explain why she ran away again? Why she built her walls against me? I don't even know how to act next to her again, I- "

 

"Do you trust me?" Stacie interrupted.

 

"What?"

 

"Do you trust me, Chlo?" She repeated, firmer this time.

 

"I… Yes, of course, I trust you," Chloe said without hesitating. Stacie was the one who was always there when someone needed her. The younger sister she wished she would have.

 

"Then just wait a little bit longer, please. I'm not asking you have to be together, I don't want to interfere in between your relationship, but I won't let you throw what you have away just like that. Give me at least one conversation." The green eyes collided with the blue ones. Chloe could feel the truth and the courage in her eyes.

 

"Okay, Stacie. I can't say no to those puppy eyes." She giggled.

 

"Yes!" she sighed just before letting out a laugh, which was followed by Chloe.

 

"God, Stacie…" She started, "I really appreciated what you've done for me." She said as she hugged the younger woman, holding her close.

 

"That's what family is all about, isn't it?" She smirked. "It really helped me talking to you too. It was nice talking to someone different. I'm pretty sure CR will kill me if she hears me again." She smiled.

 

Their talk was all they needed. They were a good team, and they should have talked sooner. They knew what to say to make the other feel better.

 

"You should probably put some ice on that bruise before it gets worse," She cleared her throat. "Do you want to get me to the hospital? A friend took my shift at the E.R. and he's really nice, you'll feel better."

 

"I think the ice is somewhere over the table," she said as she ran her fingers through her red hair. "And don't worry Stace, I'm fine." She claimed.

 

Stacie got up and brought the ice close to her friend, who was still in sat on her bed.

 

"Here," she mumbled as she handed the small, cold bag. "You should rest now, will you? I'll be back in a minute if you want me to be here."

 

"I'm fine," she repeated, "I think I just need some time to be alone."

 

"Okay Chlo, just promise me you'll call me if you need anything." She kissed gently the older woman's check, "I'll have my phone by my side and please don't overthink, everything will be alright." She said just before making her way to the door and checking one last time on her friend before closing the door behind her.

 

Chloe laid in her bed exhausted. Some people said that crying was healthy, but Chloe wasn't sure anymore. Her eyes hurt as someone put a million needles on them. She needed to… she didn't even know what to do to be the same Chloe again.

 

She used the last option it came to her head. It worked most of the times, so why don't give it a chance?

 

She grabbed her earphones and her phone and she searched for one of the most listened playlists.

 

‘Disney songs' she selected. I was like he emergency playlist, it was there when she most needed it.

 

It will make her forget and avoid these past weeks and her bad thoughts and in the best case, she could even have some sleep for the first time in forever.

 

Chloe left the bag of ice on her nightstand. She knew she would regret it when she had to clean it up, but she couldn't care less. She just needed all the pain away.

 

The thoughts replayed in her head as the songs from Tarzan and Hercules were in her earphone. When did all go wrong?

 

There was a new image in her head, she didn't know when it happened or if it did, but it was the party and she was heartbroken. She couldn't see properly because of the tears in her eyes and the ones rolling down her face.

 

It was hard to breathe and in her heart, she could sense Beca somewhere close to her.

 

Their eyes met, no words needed. It was the magic they made when the different shadow of blue connected. The way they could know what was in each other's mind with a simple look.

 

_You're the only one who really knew me at all._

 

Chloe could see the scene as a third person. She could see the sadness on her own eyes, red from crying and the mascara all over her face.

 

On the other hand, she could feel Beca's heartbroken, not only after seeing Chloe like that but something in her that wasn't right.

 

_How can you just walk away from me_

_When all I can do is watch you leave_

 

A gaze was broken when Chloe couldn't deal with the situation anymore and turned around to walk away from Beca, who was trying to make some words out of her.

 

_I wish I could just make you turn around_

_Turn around and see me cry_

 

Chloe woke up sobbing as though someone stabbed her in her sleep. No air was enough to fill her lungs and it burnt every time she tried to do so.

 

The music was still playing, the Disney playlist was done, but it kept playing another playlist as a suggestion. Who better than Phil Collins to suggest after listening to all the Disney songs in Spotify.

 

_She froze as she listened to the lyrics, the sobs became silent tears._

_But to wait for you is all I can do and that's what I've got to face_

_Take a good look at me now, ‘cause I'll still be standing here_

_And you coming back to me is against all odds_

_It's the chance I've gotta take_

_Take a look at me now_

 

She knew that Stacie would probably kill her for not calling, but she needed to get out of there. She got the keys to her car and she just drove away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the follows and all the love and I don't know how to answer the comments you've left (I'll work on it), but I really loved all of them and I'm sending all of you tons of love.  
> I'll keep writing and I'll post as soon as I can, but I have exams and I may take some time. Sorry again for the mistakes and I hope you've enjoyed this!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay! My computer is still broken and I've been busy with my exams. I promise I update with the last as soon as I can after my exams are over. Thanks for the messages and I really hope you enjoy it. Again, thanks for reading and sorry for the mistakes you may find.

Beca was tired. Mixing her classes, her job at the radio station, Bella's practice and her internship wasn't as easy to mix as her music. If you added her heart broken, she was miserable.

 

Watching with Chloe broke her every time and the guilt ate her alive. She knew she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

At least Amy wasn’t around this week, so she could just lay in her bed, late at night and cry until her eyes were dry, or just until she could fall asleep (if she was lucky).

 

She needed a friend. She needed someone to talk to, but she knew she tried to tell any of the girls: first of all, they’d take Chloe’s side (she would too), and she thought all the house would know what happened in a couple of hours.

 

There she was, on her way home with her amazing plan on a Friday night as crying another night, alone in the darkness, but the lights on the Bella house were on.

 

‘Shit, I thought they’d have left already.’ She said to herself.

 

Just before she could open the door, she heard the conversation they were having.

 

“Truth?” she could recognize that voice in a million years.

 

“What happened with Beca?” Beca froze and at the same time somehow, she could feel the pain in Chloe’s heart.

 

That silent answer lasted forever. A thousand of thoughts ran through her mind

 

The brunette was blank. She didn’t know what to say either and she didn’t talk about the problem Beca and Chloe had with any of the Bellas.

 

“Come on Red, we have eyes, we’re not as stupid as Legacy.” She heard again. She had to do something. She opened the door trying to look casual and relaxed, which she was not.

 

“Who’s not stupid? Do you want to repeat the question, Amy?” She asked knowing Amy wouldn’t dare to repeat it in front of her. “I see,” she continued when Amy shut her mouth.

Are you ready Beca? I think we’re ready to leave.” Stacie said

 

“Yeah, I’m not coming, but have fun.” She said with her sarcastic smile.

 

“You’re coming and it’s not a question Hobbit.” Stacie grabbed Beca’s hand when she tried to leave.

 

"Look at you, on your Aubrey mood, are you guys together again or something?" Beca regretted saying those words as soon as they come out of her mouth. She knew it hurt Stacie the way some words about Chloe would hurt her.

 

“We are leaving. Now. And you’re coming with us.” Beca didn’t dare to open her mouth anymore and followed the other girls on their way out.

 

Beca didn’t really want to be there. She just wanted her warm bed and her loneliness. She knew if she started messing up with alcohol she wouldn’t end the night well, so she tried to stay as far as Amy as she could.

 

She was tired, her eyes hurt. Her plan was easy: she would walk around for a while and when the other girls were drunk enough to forget about her, she would disappear and go home, as she did on her freshman year

 

It was an easy plan.

 

There they were. Again. Sometimes it felt like a second house. That amphitheater where all started.

 

She stood on the top of the stairs for a moment while the other Bellas made her way down. She secretly loved that place, too many memories to ignore it.

 

“Shit,” she thought to herself when she saw Amy making her way upstairs where Beca was standing.

 

"Hey, you," Amy said as she handed her friend a red cup.

 

“What’s that Ames? I really don’t feel like drinking tonight,” she said as she smelled what was inside the cup.

“Chill, it’s just beer,” as she wrapped her arm around the tiny body.

 

"Hey, dude! What do you think you're doing?" The tiny tried to release herself.

 

"It's what they call ‘emotional support' Shawshank, chill," Amy said holding her close.

 

“Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?”

 

“Come on Beca,” she started, “I’m your best friend, and you’re mine. I know you and I can tell something’s off.”

 

“Just leave me alone,” Said Beca walking down leaving her friend speechless behind.

 

She didn’t know where she was going. She tried to find a group of Bellas who wouldn’t make her talk, who wouldn’t ask. She found Legacy and Flo next to Lilly. They were always a good choice, no Amy, no Stacie and of course, no Chloe.

 

Just before she could get them, she felt someone taking her hand and stopping her. It was familiar. With a simple touch, Beca didn't need to turn around to know who was holding her, but she did because she couldn't believe that was happening. That must be some kind of joke.

 

“Hey,” A half smile appeared on Jesse’s face when she found Beca’s eyes.

 

“No,” she refused. “I’m not doing this,” she tried to go away

 

“No, Beca,” he tried to stop her. “Please I need to talk to you, I’ll be short, and you don’t have to talk at all.”

 

“What do you want Jesse?” Her blood was boiling. The night was just getting worse, and she still had no idea how it would end. *

 

“I just want you to know how sorry I am for what I said and did last week.” He sighed.

 

“Okay, you’re done,” she cut him off.

 

"No, wait, Beca," He insisted. "Please wait until I'm done."

 

Beca could see the regret in his eyes and de need to talk to her. At least in a couple of minutes, they'd be done. "Okay," she cleared her throat.

 

"I was a dick and I have no words that can make this apology enough for you. I was hurt and that's no excuse for what I said. You are one of the best people I have ever known, but we're not meant to be together and I knew since the first kiss we shared, but I refused to believe it, to think about it." It was hard to hold back the tears.

 

“I’ve loved you so much and I will always do, as a friend and I know you’ve loved me at some point and that’s enough for me. I’ve been selfish and I’m so sorry for not seeing something was off.” The air between them got thicker. The pain on her chest was increasing and she knew she started crying she wouldn’t stop. So did Jesse.

 

“I didn’t mean what I said last week. I think you bring to light the best part of everybody and you deserve the best. And I know it’s not my business, but I think you guys should be together.”

 

“What?” it came out as a cracked whisper.

 

“Chloe loves you, and I know you love her too, Beca. I knew all along and I’m sorry I acted that way on the radio station, you didn’t deserve it.”

 

There I was. Chloe, with CR and Amy laughing and having a good time. She couldn’t help but smile as the tears ran down her face.

 

"I messed up, Jess," She said as he made* her close and hugged her. "I never meant to hurt you." She was trying to breathe even though it seemed like there was not enough oxygen.

 

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Becaw,” he said as he held her close. “Fight for it, Beca. Don’t waste your time or you’ll regret.” He said drying her tears.

 

They sat on the amphitheater there in silence for a while, no words were needed. They needed some time to calm down before joining the party again.

 

“I should be leaving,” he cleared his throat, “I should check on Benji before he does anything stupid in front of your Legacy,” he smiled. “If you need something, please call me, okay?” he kissed her forehead.

 

“Thank you,” it’s all Beca could manage to say.

 

She sat there for a while. She needed some time to think, but she didn't want to go home, not yet, something inside of her was shouting to stay. She could see the people dancing from where she was.

 

Ashley and Jessica; Legacy and Benji, CR, Flo, and Stacie. No trail of Amy (she supposed she was with Bumper doing something she really didn't want to know) and no trail of Chloe.

 

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Beca thought as her eyes scanning the place. The music was too loud, and the alcohol started to affect her (not that she drank that much).

 

“Maybe this is it and I should head home, it’s getting late-“ Her thoughts were cut off when she could see a flash of red hair walking fast on her way to the stairs. Her heart stopped when she focused the image before it was too late.

 

She seemed drunk, but not the ‘happy-drunk Chloe used to be’. She seemed broken, her mascara ran on her face because of the tears flowing. She got up hoping her body would respond, hoping Chloe was okay; but when their eyes connected, they said too much.

 

That special way they could talk to each other without words. Regret. It was all she could read in her best friend’s face.

 

“Chloe,” she whispered the moment her friend turned around to keep her way up to the stairs. Flo and Stacie were following her. She could see the worrying in Stacie’s eyes. Something was really bad, and she knew if she followed them, things would be worse.

 

Beca looked back at the crowd of people, there was a group of The BU Harmonics who were shouting and laughing, and she could hear how they said something about a redhead, as his friends cheered and at that moment she didn't really need to hear anything else.

 

She made her way to those guys without thinking it twice.

 

“What the fuck did you said about the redhead?”

 

“Who the fuck are you?” He said looking down at the short girl.

 

“I’m her best friend.” She confronted him.

 

“Are you?” He made fun of her. “Then go and have fun with your ‘best friend’, I already did.”

 

“Don’t play with me dude.” She was furious.

 

“Do you want me to fuck you too?” That was all Beca was able to hear. She couldn’t believe what she just listened. Now it all made sense, the regret in those blue eyes, the tears.

 

“Maybe you will be easier to convince.” Brought her back from her thoughts. Her anger was blinding her.

 

The next thing she remembers was CR and Lily holding her from punching for the thousandth time that guy, who was now laying on the ground.

 

They made their way out of the amphitheater. She could hear Stacie taking about something that sounded medical, but she was too tired to listen to her.

 

Beca sat on the first bench she could find, far enough from the party. Stacie was still talking. She was mad and nervous and not even CR could calm her down. Lilly handed her a bottle of water before disappearing.

 

She was tired and her she had a headache. She wanted Stacie to shut up and go home.

 

“What the fuck were you thinking about? He could have hurt you,” Beca could notice fear on her friend’s voice. Fear and anger.

 

“He was being an asshole.” She whispered. She was not going to tell what that guy said about Chloe. She just needed to fix everything, she just needed Chloe to be okay.

 

“God, Beca what’s wrong with you?” It was more of an affirmation than a question. “Show me your hand, does it hurt?” She said getting closer and takin her hand. Her knuckles were covered in blood.

 

Stacie caught a tissue and the bottle of water Beca had on her other hand and started cleaning the injured hand.

 

“Shit,” Beca mumbled to herself, loud enough for Stacie to hear it.

 

“Does that hurt, Beca?”

 

“No, it’s okay, can we go home now?” She tried to change the subject. Of course, it hurt like hell, but she was exhausted, and she wanted to go home and cry until she would fall asleep.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Hobbit.” The taller woman said as she explored her friend. She knew Beca and she could tell she was dying from the pain in her hand.

 

"Okay, we're going to the hospital," she said.

 

“No way, I’m okay and we can go home,”

 

"No, you're not, your hand is hurt, you need an X-ray film and immobilize that hand. CR, can you call an uber?" She asked CR who was still standing there.

 

“What? Dude, no! I’m alright and you’re drunk. Let’s go home.” She said standing up and with the intention of going to her bed.

 

"Don't you dare to move, Hobbit!" The scary Stacie was back. "Sit your ass back on that bench."

 

“The uber will be here in a minute,” CR announced.

 

It was a long ride even though the hospital was only a few miles away.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, the paperwork is all set and I’ve called Matt he’ll be here when he ends with the patient he is attending,” Stacie said as she sat next to Beca on the waiting room.

 

“I’m sorry about what I said before,” Beca interrupted. “I know all the Aubrey stuff is hard for you and I still played that card.”

 

“I know you’re sorry and you didn’t mean to say that, but-“

 

A shout down the hall made them turn around.

 

“Where are you, skinny pitches?” It’s all they could understand.

 

“Oh God,” Beca started.

 

“Please no,” CR continued.

 

“Fuck,” Stacie said hands in her face.

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Fat Amy said entering the room and making eye contact with the three friends. “You were doing this without me!” She was so drunk.

 

"Do what?" Beca asked raising her eyebrow.

 

“Amy, not now,” Stacie warned her friend. She knew how sensitive Beca was below all the badass capes.

 

“You said you’d wait for me bitches!” Amy continued ignoring both of her friends.

 

"Come on Amy, I'll buy you a coffee," CR tried to get the Amy away from Beca, who was confused. She knew if Beca found out, she would explode, and she was too scared of her to let that happen.

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Beca interrupted.

 

“Oh, come on Beca!” she started, “Don’t act like everything is normal lately, we all know there’s something going on.”

 

“We just,” corrected Stacie. If looks could kill, Amy wouldn’t be there. “We…, you look so down lately, and we just wanted to check out everything was alright.”

 

"So what, this is some kind of intervention? Are we on ‘how I met your mother'now?" As soon as she said it, she remembered the hours spent on Chloe's bed watching that show she didn't even like. She missed it. She missed her.

 

Anyway, she was mad. She could feel her blood boiling into her veins.

 

“It’s just Bhloe is not what it used to be, and we were wondering-,” Amy started to realize she was messing it up. She could feel the rage in Beca’s voice.

 

“Oh my God, you are just a group of nosy bitches who needs gossip to spend their fucking useless time.” She was shouting now.

 

“Come on, Beca, we just-“ Stacie was interrupted by her friend Matt who was calling for Beca.

 

“Don’t you dare to come with me,” she said as she stood up and walked out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay," Matt said, "looks like something is going on in your hand, and I need an x-ray, is that okay?" He explained while exploring her inflamed hand.

 

“It’s nothing, I’m okay I don’t need that,” Beca explained.

 

“Well, I’m not that sure,” he raised his eyebrow. “Come on, I’ll take you to the room, it’ll take a minute.”

 

He was right. Five minutes later, she was done.

 

“Okay Beca, wait in here and I’ll go get the results. I’ll be right back.” Matt said.

 

In fact, he had seen the results in her computer, but he needed to check it out with someone first.

 

“Hey Stacie, could you come for a minute?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” She stood up hiding her panic face.

 

“Is she okay?” Amy and CR asked simultaneously.

 

“She is, don’t worry,” He smiled calming them.

 

Once they were out of the waiting room, Stacie got nervous. Maybe something was wrong, and Matt wanted to talk to her first, maybe that guy hurt Beca.

 

“What’s going on? Is she okay?” She asked her classmate.

 

"She is, I promise, but I want you to see her x-ray." He said arriving at the room.

 

"Oh god, it's worse than I thought. It's really broken. I thought it would be just a strain." Her hands on her face, she was getting nervous.

 

“Hey, Stacie, it’s okay,” he hugged her. “She’ll be okay, she just needs a good bandage and rest for a month.

 

"This job is hard when it's about someone you care about," Stacie said trying to relax.

 

“Yes, it is,” he sighed. “Come on, what about you go with her while I go for the material? You look like you need to talk and it’d take me a while to get there.” He said with a reassuring smile. “She’s waiting on 203.”

 

“Thanks,” she mouthed before leaving.

 

* * *

 

 

Stacie knocked the door shyly before opening it.

 

“Hey, how are you?” she said almost impossible to hear.

 

"I don't want you here," She was mad, and Stacie knows it was better left alone (or with Chloe) when she was on that mood. But something on her voice made her stay. Her eyes were sparkling like she was about to cry.

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she almost whispered while got close to Beca and wrapped her in a hug.

 

That’s when Beca’s world fell apart. She didn’t know how or when she broke down like that, but she hugged Stacie back. Sobs escaped from her mouth and tears were flowing.

 

“It’s okay, Beca,” she said rubbing her back, letting her cry. She’d never seen her friend like that before. Sure, they’ve cried together at some time, when a tear rolls down your face, but never like that.

 

Eventually, Beca calmed down. Her anxiety was disappearing, and she could breathe again.

 

“Are you feeling better?”

 

Beca just nodded. She wasn’t able to look at her friend.

 

“Will you tell me what’s going on? I just want to help you. Please, Beca, talk to me” Her worried tone convinced her friend.

 

“Why that intervention? Why didn’t you ask me like that?” There was hurt in her words.

 

"I know something's going on, and CR is the best for advice, I thought she would help you more than I do."

 

“What about Amy?”

 

“She listened when we were talking about that and she said she’s your best friend and she would help. Spoiler: she didn’t.” She smiled, trying to break the tension.

 

“I kissed her.” She simply said. She didn't think about it, it just came out.

 

Stacie definitely expected something different, but she was happy Beca finally realized what everybody could see, that her relationship with Chloe wasn’t just friendship.

 

“So, what’s the problem? I always thought something would happen.”

 

“So did Jesse,” She said with a broken smile.

 

“Oh shit! I forgot about him! I’m so sorry to hear that Beca,” she held her hand and moved closer to her. “Start, from the top,”

 

"When we were to Aubrey's camp, I felt something's was different with Chloe like there was something I've never realized it was there," She started, "God, this is so embarrassing,"

 

“It’s okay, I just want you to trust me,” she smiled to the shorter woman.

 

“Things weren’t the best with Jesse, there’s something missing, I don’t know if it was ever there. He got mad before I could say anything, he said he knew there was something going on between us and he just left.” She sighed.

 

“Even though I wanted to break up, it was harder than I could ever imagine, and Amy wasn’t at home and I didn’t want to be alone, so I went to Chloe’s room.” She cleared her throat.

 

“And?” The taller woman encouraged her to continue.

 

“I kissed her at some point, and she kissed me back and it just felt so good, like everything was alright, like everything it’s the way it’s supposed to be, but she told me to stop, she didn’t want to do it like that.” That knot in her throat was harder to hide.

 

"I totally get it and respect it, before you could think anything it's not." She cleared.

 

“But when I woke up the next morning and I saw her sleeping like that, so peaceful, I couldn’t take out of my mind how I hurt Jesse and I couldn’t let that happen again, not to Chloe.”

 

“So, you just thought ignoring her was a better option?” she couldn’t even believe she had to do that question.

 

“I thought if there was some distance between us everything would calm, I mean, Christmas is almost here and she’ll go home and she’ll have time and-“

 

“Please tell me you know you did something stupid and you’ll fix it,” she said running her free hand through her hair.

 

“I know it’s wrong, but I can’t break her heart, don’t want to hurt her, I just can’t. I couldn’t forgive me.” The cracks in her voice were inevitable at that point.

 

“You know that by doing what you’re doing, you’re hurting her already, right?” she tried to sound supportive even though she just wanted to punch her friend for being an idiot.

“We’re just friends, I can’t break her heart like that if we stay as friends,”

 

"Beca, you know as well as me that Chloe and you have never been ‘only friends'" she remarked. "You are hurting her because you are afraid to face your feelings and accepting you love her. And why the hell are you thinking of breaking up with her if you're not even together? I'm not saying you have to marry right away, or even be together now, but Chloe deserves an explanation." She said encouragingly. "You owe her that."

 

“You’re right, Stace, I owe her that, it’s just-“

 

“No excuses, Beca. Anything can happen, anytime. Don’t be stupid and fight for your happiness or no one else will do it. Just don’t mess it up,” Stacie joked as she hugged her friend.

 

It was almost 4 in the morning and the tiredness was showing when Matt appeared with all the material they needed to immobilize that hand.

 

“Sorry for the wait, we just had another emergency down there, it’ll take 10 more minutes and you’re free to go.” He said sitting next to the two friends.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I really hope you like it, I have a lot to say, but I'll leave it at the end, so it's spoiler free!

When Beca woke up next morning, she couldn’t tell what hurt the most: if it were her eyes from crying silently all night while Amy was snoring next to her; if it was the headache form the hangover; or if it was her broken hand. Now that she couldn’t use it, she realized how much she needed it.

 

Amy had just disappeared at some time of the morning. It was around 10 in the morning and she was nowhere to be seen.

 

“Thank God,” thought Beca. She didn’t want to face her friend after last night, talking with Stacie was more than enough, and she knew Amy wasn’t as easy to handle as her taller friend. Not after the party and waiting almost 3 hours at the hospital.

 

Someone knocked on the door. Beca could just groan at that. She wanted to be alone, was it hard to understand?

 

Not waiting for a response, the door opened, and she could hear the steps climbing up the stairs. She refused to open her eyes. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep, that person would leave her alone.

 

“Hey, Hobbit, you up?” She recognized Stacie making her way to her bed and sitting next to her.

 

“What do you want, Stacie? Just leave me alone,” she groaned while she turned around. Wasn’t it enough the talk they had last night?

 

“Calm down, I’m here to help.” She was nice after all. “Come on, sit up,” she commanded.

 

Beca opened her eyes and sat up as her friend had demanded. "What's that?" She asked when she saw all the boxes Stacie was carrying.

 

Stacie opened the boxes and placed the pills on Beca’s desk, next to her glass of water.

 

“Okay, so listen,” She started, this one is for your hangover, you take this now and you’re set; and those are for your hand and you need to take each one every eight hours.” She explained. “You understood?”

 

“Yes, I’m not a child, I can take care of myself,” Beca sat up and grabbed the pills.

 

“No, wait,” Stacie stopped her. “You need to eat something before or your stomach, can become inflamed,” She handed her a sandwich she made.

 

“These pills will help you sleep, you need it, you look awful,” She made fun of her.

 

“Thanks, Stace, I couldn’t tell,” Beca said ironically.

 

"Are you sure you're okay? I'm not joking now. Can I help you somehow? Do you need to talk?" She could tell Beca hadn't slept that night and she'd been crying instead, but she didn't want to force her anymore.

 

“I’m feeling better, Stace, thank you,”

 

"Okay," Stacie kissed her cheek and stood up. "I have to go to the hospital in a while. I'll be back around eight or so. Please call me if you're not feeling okay or if your hand is getting worse. Please take it easy, you don't want all your arm opened up in surgery, okay?"

 

“Thank you, Stacie, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. I mean it,” Beca said as Stacie was starting to walk down the stairs.

 

“We’re family,” Stacie smiled back. “That’s what we’re supposed to do, take care of each other.”

 

“Thanks anyway,” Beca cleared her throat.

 

"Please get some sleep and do what I told you yesterday. Do it before it's too late." Stacie said from the bottom of the stairs.

 

“I’ll do it,” she whispered, mostly for herself.

 

That sandwich was awful. Beca couldn’t understand how Stacie could cure people and save their lives but couldn’t cook a sandwich properly. However, she had done more for her than she needed to, she really appreciated it.

 

She closed her eyes. A million images from last night and worries danced in her head. It was a hard battle against herself, and she wasn't used to winning. It was tough for her to find a good happy memory when she was having a bad time.

 

Somehow, a picture of Chloe appeared in her mind. Not the sad Chloe she found yesterday, but the Chloe who was tearing up of happiness after winning nationals on her freshman year.

 

Before she could notice, she fell asleep. No problems nor dramas in her head, not even nightmares. She was able to rest properly for the first time in almost two weeks.

 

1:27 p.m. Beca opened her eyes. That nap really helped her. Her headache was gone and at least she hadn’t those bags under her eyes anymore. The light on her phone was blinking. Of course, it was Stacie. 15 unread messages.

 

_Stacie: Just talked to Chloe (11:05 am)_

_Stacie: I understand everything now (11:05 am)_

_Stacie: God, Beca (11:05 am)_

_Stacie: I understand why you didn’t tell me (11:06 am)_

_Stacie: But you should have (11:06 am)_

_Stacie: I'm late and I won't be home today (11:07 am)_

_Stacie: I’ve already told you that (11:07 am)_

_Stacie: But please, talk to her as soon as you can (11:07 am)_

_Stacie: She was pretty upset (11:07 am)_

_Stacie: Talk to you later x (11:09 am)_

_Stacie: Chloe isn’t picking up her phone (12:41 pm)_

_Stacie: I called her like 5 times (12:41 pm)_

_Stacie: I need you to take her to the hospital (12:41 pm)_

_Stacie: We’ll make the abuse test (12:41 pm)_

_Stacie: Please call me or text me or whatever when you see this (12: 42 pm)_

Beca didn’t have to think it twice, she got up of her bed and ran down the stairs.

 

_Beca: I just woke up (13:33 pm)_

_Beca: I’m going to check again in Chloe’s room (13:33 pm)_

Beca knocked shyly the door.

 

“Chlo? Are you there?” She managed to say. She didn’t realize how nervous she was. There was no answer.

 

“Chlo, if you’re there, I’m coming in,” she said as she got the courage to open that door.

 

The room was perfectly tidied, the bed was made, and the blinds were up, letting the light enter the room. It smelled like her.

 

Beca came in and revived all the memories made in that room. All the laughs and songs they sang, the tears they shared and since that day last week, that intimate moment Beca didn’t know if it was better to forget it or keep it forever in her heart.

 

When Beca was back on her, she texted Stacie again. She couldn't find the keys to the car.

 

_Beca: She’s not in her room (13:41 pm)_

_Beca: I think she took the car (13:41 pm)_

_Stacie: She just answered my text (13:42 pm)_

_Stacie: She said she was okay (13:42 pm)_

_Stacie: I’ll be waiting here in the hospital (13:42 pm)_

_Stacie: Maybe she shows up (13:42 pm)_

_Stacie: You wait for her at home (13:43 pm)_

_Stacie: Text me if you’re with her and I’ll text you if she comes here (13:43 pm)_

_Beca: I will, Stace (13:43 pm)_

Beca sat on her friend’s bed, lost in her thoughts again. She didn’t even know what to tell Chloe, but that room was always like her safe place. She didn’t notice, but she found herself laying on the bed.

 

The pillow smelled like her shampoo, the one Beca missed next to her. All the nights she laid there were now replaying in her head. All those happy moments seem sad now. Would they be happy again? Had she lost her best friend forever?

 

Tears came out with no resistance. She couldn’t hold it back anymore, imagining Chloe sad and broken was breaking her as well.

 

Lost in her thoughts, she fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The girls in the living room woke her up. Who watched a scary movie on their hangover day? Sometimes she wished she lived alone, in moments like that she wished she lived alone.

 

She realized she was covered up in a blanket. She didn’t cover herself when she laid down, she wasn’t supposed to fall asleep.

 

The window was open. Not much, but it was enough for Beca to realize. Again, it wasn’t when she got to the room. Someone had been or was there. She got up silently, ignoring the cracks under her feet from the old parquet floor. Walking felt like a battle, every step was harder than the previous one until she stood in front of the window.

 

There she was, that red hair falling down those shoulders. She was paralyzed, many emotions were flashing in her head, all the pros, and cons, all the laughs, all the tears. It was all worth it.

_Beca: She’s here (4:02 pm)_

 

It was all she could write before throwing her phone to the bed and making her way out to the window. Beca couldn’t let her think. She never liked the roofs and heights and couldn’t let her think about how nervous and how unready she was to talk to her friend.

 

It was cold up there, she was glad she grabbed the blanket. Beca wasn’t what you call silent, she was noisy enough for Chloe to know someone was behind her, but she didn’t turn around. Beca managed to cover her friend’s shoulder in the warm blanket.

 

She wrapped herself while she sat down next to her friend in silence. Those blue eyes she loved didn't shine as they used to. They were red from crying. The eye contact was avoided by the older woman, who had the sight fixed on the horizon.

 

Beca opened her mouth, trying to say something, but no word came out. She had that knot in her throat and it was hard to hold back the tears. She covered her face with her hands, trying to prevent herself from crying.

 

She tried to control her breathing. God, why the anxiety again?

 

“Chlo, I-“ She cleared her throat. She could feel the tension on Chloe’s body. Beca was good at reading her friend, but at that moment she was just lost.

 

"I don't even know what to say, I have no right to apologize, what I did was a shit move and I keep messing things up," the first crack in her voice came out.

 

“I ran away when you were the only one I wanted, the only one I needed by my side and I didn’t let you, and I-“ She broke down. God, she was so done with crying, too many feelings in such a little time.

 

At that moment, those blue eyes relied on her, the hurt and the tiredness were reflected. The shine that made her eyes special was gone. She turned her face again, looking at the same direction at the horizon, mouth shouted.

 

Beca had repeated that conversation in her head a thousand times. Before her sleep, walking on the street, while doing her mixes… even in her dreams. But she couldn’t let the words out. She was too important to mess it up.

 

She tried to do the same as Chloe and looked for the calm in the landscape in front of her.

 

“I’ve been acting like an asshole, you didn’t deserve it, I’m not worth your time nor your forgiveness. I-“ she sighed, “I’m terrible at this,” she whispered to herself.

 

Chloe scoffed silently in disbelief. The feelings were fighting inside her. On the one hand, there was her developed love for Beca. She really loved her, all they lived and all they have left to live. She was her best friend after all.

 

On the other hand, there was all the hurt. All the times she had cried for Beca, all the times she ran away and pushed her and the other girls apart, especially after what happened last week. She somehow felt used by her best friend.

 

Chloe had been all week in a dark place, and after last night, there was no light left.

 

Unfortunately, that scoff didn’t go unnoticed and that took Beca by surprise.

 

"What?" Beca said trying to hold her voice in place before breaking down. She turned to her friend stunned, who limited to run her hand through her red hair and let out a sarcastic but silent laugh, in addition, to hold back her tears.

 

“Chlo, what’s-“ she said placing her hand on her friend’s back, reassuring her, like she always did. She didn’t even think about what she was doing.

 

“Get out of here,” Chloe pushed away when she felt the touch.

 

“What?” The crack of her voice was inevitable now. She had that conversation in her head a thousand times per day, but not even in her worst nightmare, were like that.

 

“Just leave, Beca,” said firmly, “it won’t be the first time,”

 

Beca couldn't believe what she was hearing, not from Chloe, anyone but her. She was frozen, and her head traveled back to when her parents divorced, with all those fights, especially with her father, where they both knew how to hurt each other and how they did it sometimes.

 

Should she leave? Should she just give up? She couldn’t.

 

“Talk to me, yell at me! God, even punch me if that makes you feel better!” Beca raised her voice, “but I won’t fucking leave until you talk to me,”

 

“What do you want me to say?” Chloe turned around. The madness was reflexed in her blue eyes, which here almost tearing up. “Do you want me to say that is everything okay? That I forgive you for ignoring me for a week even though you knew I was devastated?” Chloe couldn’t handle it anymore and tears were running down her face.

 

“You ran away the first year, and we almost lose you, but it was okay, and we talked about it, and everything was alright since then. But now, you lie to us and for God’s sake Beca, this is the second time in a month that you turn your back on us!” God, she needed Beca gone.

 

"Leave, Beca, go back to Jesse, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear you for a while," She knew Beca too much to know how to hurt her. And a part of her wanted to hurt her friend, a part of her wanted to make her disappear. And the darkest part of her heart blamed her for what happened last night.

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” It was hard to speak when she had no air in her lungs. “I’m here because I’m shit and I want to settle things out with you, but I don’t even recognize you, dude! I fucking need my best friend, the one that knows me the most! Where the fuck is she?” She was yelling. She couldn’t even see what was in front of her due to the tears of her eyes.

 

"You're looking for your friend? What a coincidence, because I was looking for mine last week when I couldn't stop crying because of her!" Thank God the house was big enough for the other girls to hear.

 

 A sob came out of Chloe. She covered her face with her hands just before the second sob came out. She was hoping Beca would leave.

 

She took deep breaths to calm her down, as she dried the tears out of her.

 

That silence lasted a few seconds that looked like an eternity.

 

“You know,” Beca started almost whispering, “your friend was freaking out because she just found out she’s in love with you,” just like that.

 

There was a silence again. Tears were still rolling down Beca’s cheeks when Chloe turned around looking for a confirmation that would confirm what she just heard, but now was Beca the one avoiding eye contact.

 

"I broke Jesse's heart when I broke up with him, and after kissing you, I just-" she sighed, "I pushed you away because I wanted to protect you from me, and all I did was hurting you more." It was getting easier to breathe, for both of them.

 

“I want to be here for you, Chlo, you’re my family and I can’t imagine my life without you in it,” Beca said with a broken smile on her face. Chloe still couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

 

“I just need some time to get you out of my mind, that’s all,” Beca whipped her tears away. Her anxiety was gone. All that she needed to say, everything that was in her heart, was all out. She was too focused on the landslide in front of her she didn’t notice the blue eyes on her.

 

“I don’t want you to,” I was low, like a whisper. She didn’t even know if she wanted to say it or she was just thinking out loud. That unnoticed confession faded away.

 

Beca sniffed. God all the guilt was on her. It was all her fault.

 

“I wish I could have been there, Chlo. I wish I could have kept you save.” She said ending the sentence with a sob.

 

Chloe’s teary eyes were looking at her confused. She wrapped her legs with her hands, the cold was getting inside her.

 

“It was all my fault, Chlo,” Beca moved closer to her friend and ran a finger rounding the bruise on Chloe’s forehead and running her finger down Chloe’s cheek to dry one of those tears that were falling.

 

“You know?” she mumbled when she was able to clear her throat.

 

Beca nodded as she whipped away her own tears.

 

“God, I’m so sorry for the toxic masculinity,” Beca sighed. “What I did was wrong, it’s just-“ She started. “I was so mad, and I saw you crying and that asshole just standing there with his friends, like a hero,” She looked away.

 

“I would have killed him, I lost my mind and I’m so sorry.”

 

“What do you mean?” Chloe looked at her confused, she could feel how her own walls broke down.

 

“Oh,” she turned again to face her friend. “God, I thought Stacie told you.”

 

“Told me what?”

 

Before Chloe could even finish the sentence, Beca raised her hand so she could see it. Chloe couldn't let the words out, just tears.

 

“God, Beca,” she was speechless.

 

“Hey,” Beca moved Chloe’s face so she would face her. “It’s okay, it’s nothing, but I have to take you to the hospital, Stacie is waiting for you.”

 

“What for? Is she okay?” She worried.

 

“What? I thought she told you. Yes, she’s alight, she’s okay,” she said nervously. “She wants you to do the test,” she cleared her throat, “the rape test.”

 

“What? I’m okay, Beca,” she tried to look calm. “We don’t have to go.”

 

“We’re going, Chlo, he hurt you and he needs to pay for what’s he’s done.”

 

“It was my fault, Beca, please, I don’t want to go,” She was getting nervous.

 

“No it’s not, you-“ she was cut off.

 

“I drank too much, and I needed that pain to disappear, and I- I don’t know, maybe, deep down I wanted that to happen,” Tears were back on her eyes again. “Maybe I did something I shouldn’t have,”

 

"Taking advantage of someone when they're drunk it's not okay, Chlo, and I won't let you think it's your fault for trying to have fun." She held her friend's hand. "He must pay for what he did," she said.

 

She didn't even realize they were holding hands, it was the habit of doing it, it felt so normal and right. It took both by surprise when they aware of the situation. Beca cleared her throat and let go of Chloe's hand.

 

“God, I’m a mess,” The tears were growing in her eyes.

 

"You're not, Chloe, it was not your fault and he'll pay for what he did," She comforted. "And I'll be by your side if you want me to," her tone decreased. She wasn't sure if Chloe would want her by her side. They still had a lot to talk about.

 

“Can we say here for a little longer? Just ten more minutes before we go.” It took Beca by surprise. She was wiping her tears away.

 

“Of course,” Beca responded. She didn’t need time to think about it, they had to do what Chloe needed. “Do you want to be left alone? I can wait somewhere else.” Beca knew she wasn’t the best company for Chloe right now.

 

“No, please. Stay with me,” Chloe said softly.

 

“Are you sure?” She could feel some tension coming from her friend.

 

“Yes, please,” she said with no hesitation.

 

They sat still, looking at the lake and the other houses away from there. Beca could see the Treble's house from there, on the other side of the lake. She got lost in her thoughts again, thinking about her relationship with Jesse, her first relationship. Well, their both first. And how much they've grown together in some ways.

 

All that week, all she thought about was Chloe and Jesse. She had time to analyze most part of her relationship with Jesse, and it wasn’t healthy.        

 

In her mind replaying all the times he'd say he couldn't live without her, all the plans he needed to do with her or he'd get mad, all the jealousy, that overprotective attitude. They loved each other, but not in the right way. All the fights they had for nonsense, or the way Jesse reacted when they broke up.

 

Beca didn’t think about it when they were together, but it looked very different now they were on her own.

 

 She felt a soft touch on her little finger, a soft touch that traveled over her other fingers and hand, smoothly and carefully like if it was fire.

 

Beca looked down to see Chloe’s hand on her, rubbing her thumb on Beca’s hand before interlacing their fingers.

 

It felt good after all this time. She was really missing her best friend. She knew she still had so much work to do to be back to where we were.

 

Chloe moved closer. She needed someone to rely on, she needed Beca to rely on, after all, she was her best friend, she was all she needed. She moved her head and placed it on Beca's shoulder.

 

Tears came out of Chloe’s eyes, she couldn’t fight it back. Her guard was down, and she just let it out. Every time she thought about last night, a piece of her heart broke.

 

“Chlo, I’m here. We’ll fix it,” Beca turned and wrapped her friend in between her arms, holding her close.

 

“I can’t believe I let that happen,” she mumbled before a sob came out. She covered her face, she needed to disappear. She was ashamed, she felt week, exposed.

 

“We’ll fix it, Chlo, I promise,” Chloe’s head was on Beca’s chest, holding her close while her tears kept falling uncontrollably.

 

Chloe relaxed in between her arms. She took deep breaths to breathe normally again. Some tears were still falling, tears that were ripped away by Beca’s thumb.

 

“Are you feeling better?” She whispered, afraid of making her cry again.

 

But Chloe just separated her head from Beca’s chest to crash her lips on the brunette’s. It took both off guard.

 

Beca didn’t expect that to happen. They still had too much to talk about, too many feelings to clarify.

 

Chloe didn’t even know what she was doing. Her mind was out of her body.

 

But there they were. Chloe was cupping Beca’s face while she was holding her close. It was something about the magic in their kisses. It made them feel special and excited, as something amazing was about to happen.

 

It was a simple kiss, delicate and pure. It felt like they were away from their problems, as everything was the way it was supposed to be.

 

They broke apart slowly, eyes closed, trying to assimilate what just happened, with their foreheads resting on each other and noses almost touching.

 

Beca cleared her throat. Her heart was almost out of her chest and it was hard to let the words out. “Chlo, I-“ She started.

 

“I’m sorry, I-“ she took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have done it,”

 

“No, it’s just,” Beca couldn’t focus, too many thoughts flashing through her mind. “It’s not I don’t like you, I think I love you, Chloe,” It came out like a whisper, “but I don’t want to make the same mistakes all over again, I can’t lose you,” she broke down as those words came out of her mouth.

 

“Beca, I,” Beca just said she loved her, all she wanted for the last four years. “I’m so sorry, it wasn’t the moment, I don’t know what happened in my head, it’s just, I don’t know,”

 

Beca ran her hand through her hair as she moved her head, trying to arrange her thoughts before saying something that would mess everything up.

 

"I just broke up a 3-year relationship, and there are many things I still need to figure out, and it wouldn't be fair for us," She couldn't believe she was actually the mature one.

 

"And I think you also need some time for yourself, after all, that's happened," she continued.

 

“Yeah, of course,” she cleared her throat and shook her head as she looked away, “I need to get that out of my head,” her voice broke, but she didn’t let herself cry again.

 

"Come here," Beca hugged her again, "I'll be here all the time if you want me to," she still wasn't sure if Chloe would want her there, she could feel Chloe's tense body in between her arms.

 

“I want you to trust me again, I want us at the point we were before all of this,”

 

“You’re my best friend, it’s okay, you don’t need to-“

 

“No, I want you to trust me, I want to show you that I won’t run away anymore, and I’ll be here whatever happens.” Beca interrupted. “Okay?” she asked for something that would ease her.

 

“Okay,” she said softly as a little smile escaped from her lips. It was enough for Beca.

 

They sat like that for a few moments until Beca broke the silence again.

 

“I think we should leave, Stacie is waiting for us,” she said.

 

“I know,” Chloe took a deep breath.

 

“Are you ready? Are you okay?” It was hard to see her friend like that.

 

“I will be, I promise,” she said as a reassuring smile.

 

“Everything will be okay,” Beca said as she stood up, offering Chloe her hand to help her stand, “come on, when we’re done, we can go to that coffee shop, where they sell those pies you love that much,”

 

“It sounds perfect to me,” she said as she held her friend’s hand to get up.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's me again, so I'll try to write it all down.  
> 1) Thanks for reading this, it really helped with my writing and somehow I feel I've improved (I hope so), Anyway, sorry for the mistakes you can find.  
> 2) I feel I lost a Beca's character in this last chapter, but I didn't want the cold-hearted bitch.  
> 3) Please, if the situation that happened to Chloe in this story ever happens to you (I really hope not), please talk to someone and go to the hospital. Being drunk and having fun never should end up in something like that.  
> 4) Writing this was hard because, in some places in the media, they show us that toxic relationships are the most romantic ones, and that's not true, you should not tolerate that kind of relationships, it's not healthy. That's why they didn't end up together, I wanted them to have a good, healthy relationship, and having that start wasn't the best way.  
> 5) I have in my mind what it could be the 7th chapter, but I'm not sure, please let me know if you would like me to add it, or if you prefer this story like that.  
>  I will say thank you again, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.


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